GAINS: A Guide to Introducing Linda

Helping you recognize the people I love helping—and introducing us with confidence.

Thank you for taking a few minutes to get to know me before we meet.

BNI encourages us to create a GAINS Profile—sharing our Goals, Accomplishments, Interests, Networks, and Skills so we can become better referral partners for one another.

I love that idea.

But rather than simply telling you about myself, I've tried to make this page genuinely useful.

This isn't meant to be a résumé.

It's a guide.

My hope is that by the time you've finished reading, you'll know:

• the people I love helping,
• the conversations that make me think, "I'd love to meet them,"
• how to introduce us if the opportunity ever arises,
• and how I'll care for anyone you choose to introduce.

Along the way, you'll also learn a little about who I am, what matters to me, and how I hope to serve both the families I work with and the people in my network.

And, of course, when we meet, I'm looking forward to learning exactly the same things about you.

Because the best referral partnerships aren't built by memorizing facts about each other.

They're built by learning how to recognize opportunities to help one another.

GOALS

My Goal

For more than twenty years I've had one mission:

To help parents raise adults rather than simply manage children.

I help parents create calmer, stronger, more connected families—not by giving them more techniques, but by helping them understand what's really happening beneath the surface.

Because once we understand the architecture behind behaviour, lasting change becomes possible.

How You Can Help

The best referrals almost never begin with someone saying,

"I'm looking for a parenting coach."

Instead, listen for parents who say things like:

• "I'm exhausted."
• "Nothing works anymore."
• "We've tried everything."
• "Everything turns into a fight."
• "I don't know what else to do."
• "I don't even know who I am anymore."

When you hear those conversations...

I'd love to meet them.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I'm certainly proud of founding Raising Parents Inc., and of the steps I'm now taking toward founding an academy for parents, parent coaches, and future researchers in the field.

I'm proud of the workshops I've taught, the families I've coached, and the books I'm writing.

But the accomplishments that matter most aren't the ones on my résumé.

They're the things parents say afterwards.

"Our home feels peaceful again."

"We actually enjoy being together."

"My teenager talks to me now."

"I finally understand what's been happening."

Those are the moments I'm proudest of.

INTERESTS

I love conversations about...

• raising resilient children
• human behaviour
• psychology
• learning
• systems thinking
• artificial intelligence
• books
• cooking
• gardening
• art
• building community

If any of those topics make you smile, we'll probably have plenty to talk about.

NETWORKS

One of my favourite things about BNI is discovering ways to help each other.

If you're looking for someone in parenting, education, coaching, publishing, community organizations, or a related field, there's a good chance I know someone worth introducing.

Please ask.

I believe networking isn't about collecting contacts.

It's about connecting people who genuinely belong together.

SKILLS

Listening Beneath the Words

One of the things I've learned over the past forty years is that parents almost never describe the real problem.

They describe the part they can see.

What they're often experiencing is something deeper.

You'll notice I ask, "I wonder..." a lot.

Here are a few examples:

They say...

"They're so disrespectful."

I wonder...

"I wonder if this family has become caught in a pattern where everyone feels misunderstood."

They say...

"Nothing works."

I wonder...

"I wonder how long this parent has been trying to step away from their own childhood experiences."

They say...

"They just won't listen."

I wonder...

"I wonder what has happened to the connection between them."

They say...

"Everything turns into a fight."

I wonder...

"I wonder what invisible pattern keeps pulling everyone back into the same conflict."

They say...

"I'm failing as a parent."

I wonder...

"I wonder how much pressure they've been carrying without anyone noticing."

They say...

"We've tried everything."

I wonder...

"I wonder if they've been given lots of advice, but very little help understanding the source of the problem."

I'm less interested in giving people another strategy.

I'm interested in helping them see what they couldn't see before.

Because that's where hope begins.

Who I Love Helping

The parents I work with aren't "perfect parents."

There is no such thing.

I love helping parents who believe parenting is something you can learn.

They're curious.

Reflective.

Open to another perspective.

Sometimes they're exhausted.

Sometimes overwhelmed.

Sometimes convinced they're failing.

But they still want to become better parents tomorrow than they were yesterday.

Those are my people.

Children are not problems to solve. They are people to understand.

I Don't Work With Those Parents

People sometimes worry that suggesting a parenting coach might sound insulting.

Here's an easy way to think about it.

I don't work with those parents.

You know the ones.

Not the parents who aren't struggling, but the parents who don't think getting better at parenting is even a thing.

The ones who believe the problem is someone else.

Who aren't interested in learning.

Who don't see parenting as a skill they can develop.

Those parents would never call me.

"I don't work with those parents"

And if someone somehow persuaded them to, we'd probably both be disappointed.

The parents who do call me are different.

They've already asked themselves questions like:

"There has to be a better way."

"I wish I knew what to do."

"I want our family to feel different."

Those are exactly the parents I love helping.

Introducing Us

You don't need to explain my work, or to sell me.

Simple is better.

You might say...

"You know... I met someone recently who made me think of you."

Or...

"I wonder if you'd enjoy talking with Linda."

Or even...

"I don't know if this is exactly what you do, Linda, but I have a feeling you two should meet."

That's enough.

Curiosity is a wonderful introduction.

What Happens Next?

This is the part most people never tell you.

If you introduce someone to me...

I won't pressure them or try to sell them.

I won't make them feel broken, or to blame for their struggles.

I'll listen.

I'll ask thoughtful questions.

Together we'll explore what's happening and whether I'm the right person to help.

Sometimes coaching is exactly the right next step.

Sometimes it isn't.

Either way, they'll leave feeling heard, respected, and better informed than when they arrived.

Your relationship with the person you've introduced matters just as much to me as my relationship with them.

Every referral is a loan of trust.

I know that.

When someone trusts me with one of their friends, I consider that a gift.

I'll take good care of it.

One Last Thing...

If you remember nothing else from this page, remember this:

The people I help rarely ask for a parenting coach.

Instead, they ask questions like:

"Is parenting supposed to be this hard?"

"Why isn't anything working?"

"I don't know what else to try."

"I feel like I'm failing."

If someone you care about ever sounds like that...

I'd be honoured to meet them.

Not because they need another expert.

But because everyone deserves to be deeply heard.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me.

Now I can't wait to learn about you, your business, and the people you love helping.

I have a feeling we'll both leave our conversation listening a little more carefully for each other's people.